Summer yearning.

 The heat must do crazy things to your brain. I forgot how the dry heat can be so tiring and annoying. Being in Melbourne is rather nice. Takes away my mind from a lot of things. At the same time, makes me think of the things I yearn so badly. 

The temptations, the sins. I wish it was all more available to me. Suppose I'll just die a chaste woman after all. Just as long as I'm not bitter and sad when I die. Am way too bored of my life now honestly.. there's nothing in my life at the moment that excites me anymore.. I just bored of everything around me. This yearning something more than work and study. Suppose you can't have it all. Maybe I'll die alone with lots of books and papers in my house. 

Maybe I'll travel across the seas and find true love. Maybe I won't. Maybe I'll die a martyr. Maybe I'll be selfish rich bastard that doesn't give a fuck about anyone's life. It's too easy to be selfish and I really don't know how to be one. Life would be easier if I did though. Minus the guilt. That'd be a good life.

Everyone's too busy being selfish. I feel left out.